Wednesday, January 21, 2009

The Kiasu-ness of Malaysian Parenting

Kak Long is in year 6. In Malaysia that means UPSR. Apparently it is potentially a life altering event. It can be the beginning of it all...the first step for these kids towards real life...KakLong being my eldest, Mumsie didn't realize all this. Until last Saturday. I attended a briefing by her teachers where they gave the parents loonggggg explanation about the importance of UPSR and their work plan for the year to ensure they remain one of the best primary schools n Putrajaya. First, i never knew the school is one of the best in Putrajaya. Maybe the standard in Putrajaya is not that high, no? I'm just wondering coz out of 30 something student they had last year, only 6 kids got 5As. I don't think that amounts to much, if you ask me.

Tapi Mumsie tak kisah sebenarnya. Sebab tu i still send my kids to that school. I suppose i lebih pentingkan keselesaan and the convenience. The children are happy there, they tell me and its minutes away from home and my office.

And i like to pride myself in being a cool kinda Mum. I tak kisah sangat pasal their tests/exams results. Of course, i would feel proud when they do well and blog about it in here. But thats about it. I don't "harass" them about studying and scoring straight As. And Mumsie bukanlah jenis Mummy yang spend free time comparing markah anak dengan anak orang lain. Come to think of it, i don't know any of Kak Long's classmates' parents! So, i don't care how their children are doing in school!

I almost always simply tell my girls that i just want them to "berusaha". I keep telling them, if they show/prove to me that they've done their best, then Mumsie is happy with whatever grades they get. But of course, so far i don't think that their "usaha" is good enough. They spend wayyy wayyyyyyy to much time depan TV. I dah larang...dah marah but still diorang tak faham concept of studying for the exams. Pada diorang, as long as homework siap cukuplah! So, Mumsie memang tak expect much from my kids.

And one part of me wants them to enjoy their childhood. I don't want them to spend their childhood keluar masuk classroom and tuition centres aje sampai tak sempat nak smell the air..enjoy the sun, etc. Hence keadaan academic Kak Long today, i suppose. i am to be blamed. She's definitely not a straight A student. In fact, cikgu cikgu cakap she's too playful in school and she needs a change in attitude!

So, back to the cerita asal of this entry. The talk given by the school is a wake up call for Mumsie. I cannot take it easy anymore, especially where Kak Long is concerned. No..its not that i want to put pressure on her. But i want her to work hard. I want her to realize she has a responsibility. And i realize that i have to force her to work hard. hence, i succumbed to the calling of tuition teachers. I found out that her teachers are offering private tuitions in the comfort of our homes so i started signing up Kak Long.

Oh! Ada cerita. The BM teacher suggested i approach one of the mums (lets call her Mum A) and ask whether Kak Long can join the group of that woman's daughter. they live on my street and cikgu tu kata right now cuma ada 2 girls in that group he's tutoring. So, i did. Mum A said she'll have to ask the other girl's mum. She did and sms'd me that its OK for K.Long to join their daughters. Then, a couple of days later, Kak Long came home saying that the teacher asked her to join another group coz Mum A's house is too sempit! i remember thinking huh? rumah semi-D pun sempit? banyak sangat ker furniture diorang? I called back Mum A. Konon nak offer buat tuition tu kat rumah i ajelah kalau rumah dia sempit. After a few finally confessed she and the other mum has decided that two's company, three's a crowd!! she stammered something also anak dia really lemah in BM. which i translated as: my anak so bodoh and i'm damn selfish! can? but after i've calmed myself, i really wish them well. ye lah...kita mestilah nak jaga kepentingan anak kita sendiri kan?! whatever laaaa...

tapi Mumsie got my happy ending. I guilt trip the teacher (it was his idea kan to get Kak Long to try join Mum A's exclusive tuition) into coming to MY house and give lessons only to MY children on Saturday mornings! yeay!

Anyway, I told kak Long, here's the deal: Mumsie and Abah work hard so that we can afford alll those tuition classes...her teachers work hard to provide her with all those extra classes and SHE needs to work hard by paying attention and practice answering questions and jangan tinggal sembahyang. I hope she understands and appreciates.


Shafrina said...

takut kan exam2 ni..even for me yg dah bertahun tak ambik exam still remember the fear of the exam..UPSR PMR SPM...nasib baik lepas skolah exam senang jer..exam sekolah kat msia ni susah kot...

Azian hasan said...

I pun macam you jugak , tak nak pressure anak melampau sangat. So, memang dijauhkan bercampur dengan ibu-ibuk yang bergrouping kat luar sekolah masa tunggu anak.
Masih tak lupa masa I ambik keputusan UPSR anak 2 tahun lepas, emak bapaknya yang macam orang gila , kehulu-kehilir jerit-jerit macam ni...macamana kalau anak saya tak dapat 5A???. Terus terlopong I. Ada jugak yang melompat berpusing-pusing dan jatuh kat depan cikgu macam nak cium kaki cikgu. OMG....
Macam-macam cerita kan...i pun pening tengok ragam manusia yang jadikan anak macam alat je nak bermegah-megah. Looong way to go la ..Kan